Izzini Sevi

No perfekcionisma uz mīlestību

gramatas_vaks

Kādā populārā dziesmā ir ļoti trāpīgs teksts par latvietēm – perfekcionistēm:

«Nav viegl` latvieš sievietei būt:

Stiprai kā Lāčplēsim jāmācās kļūt,

Drošai kā Sprīdītim, gudrai kā Muļķītim,

Čaklai kā Pelnrušķītei, Jā, tādai tai vajadzēs būt.»

Latvietēs jau caur tautasdziesmām tiek ieaudzināts tikums, čaklums, pazemīga komunikācija gan ar pašas vecākiem un vīramāti, gan ar tautieti. Sētai jābūt sakoptai, maizei izceptai, matiem zelta pīnē sapītiem, krekliem izvelētiem un zeķēm raibi rakstaini saadītām. Grāmatas «No perfekcionisma uz mīlestību» autore Elīna Zelčāne tiecās tāda būt, tā arī nekad nesasniedzot ideālu, taču izbaudījusi vārīšanos «vai esmu pietiekami laba» katlā, izlēca no tā laukā. Grāmatā Elīna izstāsta savu pieredzi un secinājumus pēc neskaitāmu kļūdu pieļaušanas.

Ja arī tu esi perfekcioniste, kurai gribas visu izdarīt izcili, ja arī tev ir grūti atslābt, jo visu laiku jāuztraucas, vai citu acīs tiec novērtēta, šī grāmata tev noteikti noderēs. Tu uzzināsi, kāpēc mēs vispār kļūstam par perfekcionistiem, kā no tā atsvabināties un kā iemācīties dzīvot vieglāk.

Elīna domā, ka alternatīva perfekcionismam ir dzīve, kuras kvalitāte tiek mērīta spējā izbaudīt procesu, nevis tikai sasniegtos rezultātus. Vieglums, uz ko viņa aicina, ļauj mīlēt sevi un dzīvi arī tajos brīžos, «kad aizelsušies skrienam no punkta A uz punktu B». Un tad vairs nav jājūtas kā dziesmā: «Man apnicis šrubīt, man apnicis rubīt,/ Man apnicis kalponei būt./ Pēc priekiem un smiekliem es ilgojos sen jau,/ Pēc visa, kas dzīvē bij liegts.» Tad prieks un smiekli tevi pavada ikdienā un mājas darbi nešķiet kā neiespējamā misija.

Perfekcionisms ir kā slazds, kurā iekrītam ceļā uz iedomātu laimi. Taču slazdā nav jāpaliek. Elīna sniedz praktiskus padomus, kā no tā izkļūt. Un tad dzīvot kļūst vieglāk. (Zvaigzne ABC)

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